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下のスクリプトは事前提出されたものですので、ビデオの音声とは一部異なる場合があります。 |
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Family
NOBUTA, Aya (Asahikawa National College of Technology)
What does family mean to you? Family means love and support. Now my family gets together every evening for dinner and shares the stories of the day. But in my junior high school days, I didn’t get along with my family. I rebelled against my parents, and the general attitudes of those around me. I withdrew into myself and began to skip school again and again. Then, one day my parents got mad at me and my father said; “Do whatever you want. Get out of here!” I was shocked to hear such terrible words from my own father. I still remember their serious and sad faces.I have a sister who is two years older than me. She is very smart, so she got into a very good high school in my town. She is also pretty and charming and I was jealous of her, and my heart was filled with grief. I was pressured by her achievement and my parents expected me to follow the same path. I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. However, no matter how hard I tried to be like my sister, I was not able to meet my parent’s expectations. Every time I thought of my sister, an awful feeling ran through my body. I even wanted her to disappear from before my eyes. When I bitterly quarreled with her, I showered her with mean words many times. My sister cried and my mother had a sad look on her face. Then, I regretted what I had done to her. But I didn’t want to personally apologize to her for the things I said.
When I was in the third year of junior high school, I couldn’t decide which high school I should go to, though I wanted to make a plan for a future of my own. However my mother told me to apply to the same high school my sister did. I really got angry at my mother. Why do I have to do just as she tells me? My sister and I are two different people with different characters.
In the meantime I gradually became fascinated with wandering about the streets at night. In those days, I didn’t care what my future would be. I had no dream. When I went back home late at night, I would often find my parents quarrelling with each other about me and yelling at me in rage. I wanted to say “sorry,” but I couldn’t. I couldn’t be honest with my parents and myself.
I was really having a hard time but I had no one to talk to about it. I was desperate to make friends and finally found a group I felt comfortable with. However, they were not solidly linked by affection. They were just friends for fun and didn’t think about others much. I didn’t really get along with them. They weren’t true friends. All I could do was cry. I felt so helpless and shed many tears. After that time I began to show my feelings less.
The next spring, I entered Kosen. I met a person who opened my heart. As we spent more time together, I gradually came to find him reliable, and my fear began to melt away. Then I decided to reveal to him the pain I felt inside. At first I was choked with tears and couldn’t speak. But he tried to listen to me without saying a word until I was finished. Tears poured from my eyes. Then, I noticed that I just wanted someone to listen to me. I had only been trying not to show my loneliness. His quiet but warm and pleasant cheering words naturally made me feel like telling my parents about the struggles I had gone through, not in a depressing mood but jokingly.
Thanks to him, I finally came to realize how important my family was to me. They have made me what I am now. Who supports me and worries about my future? Who provides me with unconditional love? I am not strong enough to cope with the difficult situations in my daily life. But their words of encouragement give me the courage to fight against many difficulties. Now I completely open myself to my family members and consult them for advice. I think we are tied stronger than ever. I now know that I am not alone in the world.
I think there are many people who are depressed and need to ask someone for help. All of us need someone who understands and listens to us when in trouble. But don’t worry. We are not alone. We have family. It is family members that love and support you most. I’d like to let many people know how beautiful family is. Thank you, my father, mother, and my boyfriend. Thank you.
