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Path

Matsuda Masaki (Anan National College of Technology)

I felt a part of me was taken away…

Three years ago, all I was thinking about was basketball. I had been fascinated by the speed and intensity of the game. I just wanted to be a good basketball player and better than anybody else. Sometimes I dreamed of beating Michael Jordan one-on-one. To be the best player like him, I practiced and practiced. I believed that if I trained desperately I could surely achieve my goal. However, I didn’t know what such hard training would do.

I heard the sound during the game. The breaking glass-like sound came from my left knee which was badly broken. At the moment, strong pain pierced my whole body. I was rushed to the hospital and the doctor said, “If you don’t play basketball so hard, you can continue playing”. Of course I couldn’t imagine not giving it 100%. So, I quit the team. It was too sad that all my love and effort ironically deprived me of what I loved most. Even worse, I was losing touch with my team mates and gradually becoming isolated.

I felt I had no place where I belonged. I was haunted by despair, like I was wondering in a fog. I was totally blown away and only emptiness remained in my heart.

For a while, I spent days doing nothing. But one day, I got an offer to participate in a speech contest from an English teacher. After serious consideration, I decided to take the chance, expecting something would happen and stimulate me again like playing basketball and clear the depressing thoughts from my mind. Now, thinking back on it, that was the first step on the path to my new goal.

I didn’t know anything about speech. It was all Greek to me. I thought a speech would mean standing in front of people and saying something. Even a child could do that. But I was totally wrong.

It took three months or more even to draw up a script, rewriting it again and again. Analytical thinking was required in order to make a logical story, let alone correct grammar and wording. It was really hard. I keenly felt how difficult it was to express my feelings. I asked many people for help when I hit the wall. I felt I could never compose a satisfactory script. Of course, I still had my regular school work. So, I was overwhelmed. However, at the same time I got excited by the challenge. I was hooked on making a speech. I noticed the pleasure and excitement of telling my impression, surprise, and discovery to other people.

On the day of the speech contest in 2010, I was on the stage just like today. My speech started with extreme nervousness. But I tried to concentrate on what I wanted to tell people, my feelings and messages. The audience looked at me, listened to me and showed me their empathy. I just sincerely conveyed my message. It was a jubilant feeling of unity between the audience and me and I was convinced THIS IS IT!

All at once many valuable things for me were taken away. But a new path appeared in front of me out of the fog. It turned out that the most bitter incident was the start of my new path, which may take me to an even higher place. I developed ties with many wonderful friends through speech-making activities and learned a lot from them. Everything I got from speech-making will help me to develop my career in the future.

With this experience, I now believe that even if we are stuck in a hopeless situation, there is a way forward. Sometimes, it seems lost in the fog. But, the key to finding it is to sincerely tackle things in front of us, believing that we will find a path.