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Silence Is Golden???

Ueshige Nozomi (Tokuyama National College of Technology)

It is believed that Japanese people are reserved and modest. “Modesty” is praised as a Japanese virtue. But I don’t agree. In my opinion, Japanese people fail to live a full life because of this “modesty.” We should be as frank as foreigners. Today I’m going to tell you why I feel this way.

Before talking about the experience which opened my eyes, I’d like to ask you a question. How is the atmosphere in your class? My class? My class is typically Japanese. In other words, everyone is too modest. No one responds to what the teacher said. No one laughs at any jokes. No one opens his or her mouth during a lesson. Everyone just sits up straight. In such a heavy atmosphere, it is almost impossible to ask a question even if you have difficulty in understanding a lesson. Until last summer I always felt my class was boring and uncomfortable. But I didn’t try to change the mood. I just sat up straight, as I was afraid of upsetting teachers and my classmates by breaking the silence. I felt guilty about expressing myself without reserve.

However, my attitude changed completely when I went to a language school in Australia for a month last summer. On my first day at school, I just sat still as usual among my classmates, who came from countries such as Colombia, Brazil, and Turkey. While I sat silently keeping my Japanese manners, they were relaxed and enjoyed talking with each other. Everyone else seemed so comfortable in class, but that made me even more nervous and I felt out of place. At that moment, a guy from Colombia spoke up. “Hey, you’re Japanese, aren’t you? You look wishy-washy. I’ve been studying here for six months. And so far, every Japanese I’ve seen here is very quiet like you. But this school is not a place where you hold back in class. This school is a place where you dive in and enjoy class. Don’t be shy. Take it easy,” he said, looking into my eyes. Encouraged by him, I finally opened up and started to talk with everybody.

As the month went by, I felt relaxed at school. To my surprise, I came to look forward to each new day. Wondering why I felt so different there, I noticed a big contrast in how Japanese and foreigners act in class. Foreigners were much more free and relaxed. Everyone expressed themselves without reserve. If they couldn’t understand what a teacher said, they asked a question at once. When a student made a comment, the others quickly responded to it and offered their own opinions. Teachers didn’t mind being cut in, but rather they approved of questions and comments. Students didn’t feel embarrassed at speaking out. They expressed themselves frankly. Their frankness was unbelievable and astonishing to me, and it seemed that their frankness made them close to each other. I was really envious of their freedom. I really wished I could be like them. So, timidly I began to respond to what my classmates said, and then to give my own opinion. At last, I even got over my hesitation to say to my teacher, “I don’t understand. Please explain it once more.” As I stopped being “modest,” I felt that lessons became more and more enjoyable and comfortable.

It’s amazing to me that I was able to overcome my “modesty” while I was staying in Australia. I learned that foreign students are different from Japanese in that they don’t hesitate to say what they have on their mind. They think it is natural to be frank. When they say something, they mean it. I don’t have to try to find out their intention from their words, and I don’t have to beat around the bush when I say something to them. Frankness quickly promotes mutual understanding and close relationships. As I realized this secret to building good relationships, I was able to overcome my “modesty” and express myself without reserve.

In Japan many people follow a proverb, “Speech is silver, silence is golden.” I strongly object this proverb. Silence might make me look wise, but it doesn’t do me any good in socializing. I believe being frank is the secret for good human interaction. We should express our feeling to others without hesitation in order to deepen mutual understanding and build good relationships.

Since I came back to Japan, I’ve been acting on that belief. Now I’m no longer modest in a typical Japanese way. I often speak out during a lesson, saying, “Sir, I don’t understand. Please explain it more simply and clearly!” At first I shocked everyone in my class. But now all my classmates are joining me. Thanks to our frankness, lessons are getting tough for teachers but really exciting and comfortable for us. Do you envy me? Then, you should not hesitate to speak out. You should be frank. Remember this, “Speech is golden.”